How This DIVA Teaches

I thought it might be time to address the various misconceptions people have about me and the work that I do in this world; specifically in the area of personal transformation and empowerment.

It seems that anyone who works in this field gets lumped in with the rest. Spiritual guides are often revered for their insights and considering that most people are out of touch with their own inner wisdom, it makes sense that any spiritual 'teacher' has a following. Everyone is looking for answers. Most of us are looking for meaning, and all of us just want to be happy and at peace.

So we attend workshops, buy self-help books, join classes, groups, and like-minded individuals in an attempt to find what we're searching for. We are desperate for change, for that moment when it all makes sense, and sometimes we need a reason to keep going when things get rough.

We'll I'm here to tell you a thing or two about a thing or two:) Spiritual guides are not super human and don't possess anything that you don't. We all have access to truth in every moment, and none of us are without that intuitive power that shows us where we need to go and grow. But because of all the things in life that appear to lead us away from who we really are (I say appear because truthfully we can never actually disconnect from our core), we forget to look within and we end up going without. When that happens, we seek out those who are more in tune with their true natures with the hopes that we will be led back to our own.

This is what a GOD & DIVA class is about fundamentally, and this is what I offer to each individual who comes through my door. The reminder that they are already there, they are already perfect, there is nothing I know that they do not. I do not attempt to fix them (since they are not broken; they've just forgotten their essence) or claim to have the answer. I simply help them to remember who they are. What I provide is a safe and supportive space to be, without artifice. That space is beyond the physical. It is an energy that surrounds me and therefore, us, during our time together. So my ultimate goal as a healer is to keep myself fine tuned by being current with myself and what is going on in my world at any given time. The more conscious I am of myself and what is happening inwardly, the more light and clarity I can bring to each dynamic I share with another being.

Because I am present much of the time, my life force is strong. People feel inspired and elevated and stronger around me as a consequence, which is fabulous. But because of those 'high' moments that I project, people often assume that I am strong, empowered and have all my shit together. While that is sometimes true, I also have many moments of being and feeling weak, and times when I totally fall apart. It is often those times of weakness and having the world crash down however, that eventually lead to me becoming strong in a particular area. I hardly have it all together. I have some things together some of the time but certainly not all things all the time. No one does. Life ebbs and flows. So do we.

I think that is what people resonate with the most when they come to my class. The fact that I've been through the same hell they are currently going through, and that I am still here to talk about it, gives them hope. It bonds us, and it automatically creates a level of trust even if we were strangers just a moment ago. It is easy to let our guard down around those who are real and unguarded themselves.

I do not have all of the answers, and I certainly don't have the answers for anyone I meet. But what I do have is my experience and the ability to articulate it in a way that others can relate to. In a way, my 'teaching' is simply my life lived and shared.

I delve into the inner landscape and report back my findings and people tend to find this inspiring. I always found that interesting, that people were are inspired by someone just saying what's what. By someone just telling it like it is. By someone who shares her struggles openly for all to read about. You'd think that being real and sane would be expected amongst us humans, but alas, it is a hot commodity in our world.

Because I work in the area of personal transformation and empowerment, people tend to have particular expectations of me and how I operate. I am expected to love everyone, be 'nice', never get angry, tolerate other people's bullshit (because hey, we all have issues, right?), and be more understanding and forgiving than the average person. But like I said, I'm human just like everyone else. I fuck up. I'm incredibly reactive at home, I defriend people on Facebook for the strangest of reasons, I dislike most humans, and I think people who don't like me are fucked. So what? I'm not claiming to be some enlightened being that can show you how to be 'better'; what I am is an awesome human with the big enough balls to share far too much with the world, something I always wonder if I'll regret someday. I'm Mandy, and that's good enough. It's plenty. I'm not out to change the world. I'm here to be myself as fully as I can and trust that by doing so, others will be inspired to live more fully themselves.

Those who actually get what I am about, and what my work is about, know better than to put me on this self-help pedestal. They'd know that being a GOD or DIVA is about being yourself as you are; flaws and all. It's about growing and changing and fucking up and getting back on the horse, falling down, saying the wrong thing, and then trying again. It's about learning how to love yourself a little more each day. It's about learning whatever lessons you're here to learn. It's about giving up then finding a reason to carry on. It's about being human.

I am human. I'm no fucking guru. I can't fix your shit, let alone mine, but most days I have enough light at my disposal to help you find your way through the darkness. That is what I offer.

In my opinion, the greatest teachers inspire you to be great as well. The don't need or want followers. They want to be liberated and naturally they want you to be as well. They do not claim to have your answers or the key to unlocking your potential. Only you possess the key. They can be an example but they cannot hold your hand. It is a journey only you can take. No one can do it for you.

Their greatest gift is being real, which inspires you to get real with yourself. They are motivated by their own journey which they willingly share with others; not because their way is the right way, but because they know that their experiences have the potential to shed some light.

True leaders are the greatest students. They are open to learning the lessons that life is here to offer and in sharing these lessons with others, they solidify the teachings within themselves.

Spiritual warriors go through hell and aren't ashamed to admit it. They don't pretend that they are invincible and hide their failings, their past, their inadequacies. They are bold enough to be genuine. This quality is what I most value in others; the courage to be real. That's where it's at. And being real means not being perfect. It means messing up but trying again. It means being vulnerable, honest and accountable. That is the kind of person worth emulating. Not the one who promises you the world.

Class dismissed;)

Mandy

The Best Has Yet To Come

It's an exciting time in Mandyland and it has been far too long since my last post so here is where my heart, mind and soul are at as of late.

I am in the midst of yet another creative surge where things feel like they're coming together and my dreams are about to be realized. It's an interesting place to be right now because I feel right in the middle of what I've been building for years and what is about to manifest as a result. The foundation is set, my vision is clear and I am on the cusp of all that I've been moving towards for what has felt like an eternity. Before I get into that, some reflections...

I really wish I wrote far more than I do as of late. There are gaps in my process...significant insights I did not record...epiphanies that changed my world...all now dissolved into the abyss. Sure they remain a part of me since they shape the journey, but for me as a writer, nothing really counts until it has been recorded, whether in my journal, on here, as a status update on Facebook or a video I put up on YouTube. Expression solidifies the moment. Captures it perfectly, like a musician who writes and records the moments that just moved him...but through song. We all have a song we need to sing, a story that needs to be shared, a picture that must be painted. And for me, that need is frequent and I can hardly keep up with myself. There aren't enough hours in a day, fingers to type, Mandy's to write, in order to produce all that pours through me. I capture much of it but not nearly enough.

There are hundreds, maybe thousands of posts that never make it to the keyboard and I am pretty sure that will be my only regret in life. The unwritten words that had the potential to touch a heart, shed some light, or heal my soul. Sharing a computer with the kid certainly doesn't help, especially during the summer, and even now I have exactly 20 minutes until it's her turn to use it.

The great thing about Mandyland Musings is that they are just that: musings. I don't have to orchestrate a thing. I just write and what you end up reading is precisely how it came out of me. I do not edit any of these writings and they always flow. There isn't a moment of 'what should I write now?' My Mandyland column in Echo Weekly on the other hand is painstaking for me. My personal writings I do in one sitting without ceasing, but my column takes about a day with dozens of breaks in between those 500-700 words. I think it's because in that kind of writing I actually have to think. I have to put things together. I have to 'work'. It takes immense effort whereas writing this post and all my others requires no effort or thinking at all. It's just there already inside me waiting to hit the screen. I simply deliver it. Interesting that I can write 2000 words so easily on a post but in the same amount of time I'd be needing to force a paragraph in my column. Things that make you go hmm...

So besides not writing nearly enough, I am doing wonderful. I haven't bitten my nails in over 3 weeks which is a triumph! They are painted black. I have ALWAYS wanted black nails:) So now every time I see my hands I smile. It's the little things, like they say:)

I have been thinking about the moving and travelling idea (for those who have been following my journey) and here is where I'm at right now: I have no desire to move at all. None whatsoever. What I desire is the freedom (financial and otherwise) to travel the world. My place is cheap, Canada can't be beat, so why not keep this beautiful homebase and go and go and go from here? Europe was my goal, but now even Europe feels too small and limiting. I want to go there and fall in love, but I want to go everywhere else too. I am hungry for it all. Hungry like a hippo!:)

And not just hungry to travel but hungry to achieve more dreams. Ever since I can remember my dream has been to dance in videos (like this one) and I certainly don't want to die without having done this. I love to dance and I love watching sexy moves and kickass choreography on the screen, so my goal is to be one of the hotties I'm watching:) I have gotten close a few times at different points in my life but I suppose I wasn't ready. Insecurity was the main culprit so hopefully now I am in a better position to move forward with it.

When I was about 23 I auditioned (with no formal training) for a dance company in Toronto that trained you and put you in videos. It was my ticket into that world and I made the cut. I took in my tape, danced freestyle and they loved it. I was offered weekly rides to Toronto and childcare for the kid by my partner at the time so that I could learn the choreography each week, but I didn't go. Not even once. I felt I wasn't fit enough, young enough, pretty enough, or good enough to succeed so I stopped there. Of course I didn't stop dancing at the clubs and wishing I was in videos, but I aborted my dream for a long time. It hurts to think of it, and I'd like to think it's not too late. I'd like to believe that now is the perfect time to begin to realize this dream. Maybe it was just not meant to be then. Who knows. But what I do know is that this desire has never left me. I know I am meant to do this because I crave it so strongly and always have.

I need to wrap up because my computer time is almost maxed out, but I did want to share this unfulfilled dance dream in case some of you have also set aside something very important to you in the past. I encourage you to revisit it because I think it hurts more to not try than it does to fail at something. And I think that the thing that we desire the most is actually meant for us to have, or else why would we be so drawn to it in the first place. I don't think the universe is so cruel to deny me any of my dreams. I think it's more that the universe is ready when I am. I think no matter what happens in our life, the lesson we are here to learn is how to love ourselves more fully, and thus, accept even more abundance for ourselves. Dancing in videos is part of the abundance I desire in my life. What about you? What dream have you kept hidden for far too long? And what thoughts or beliefs would you need to change in order to realize it?

Time is up. WIshing you nothing but every one of your dreams to come true.

The best has yet to come.

With love,

Mandy xo